Farther Away
by WildYennifer
Summary: Damon learns that Elena almost kissed Stefan. He's angry and hurt, and it's going to take a lot more than an apology to get through to him.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: This has been written for my dear friend Lala (**broken-melody**), who requested angry Damon. I sincerely hope you won't see it as character hate of any kind.

**Warning**: You encounter a really, really angry and hurt Damon here. Read at your own risk. There isn't going to be any abuse or non-con in the fic, though.

**Timeline**: in the near future (post-5x07, let's say), but written after 5x05, so not all events after that point are going to be canon-compliant.

**Beta**: Creeping Muse. She is awesome. Go read her Sleepy Hollow fic. And go watch Sleepy Hollow.

* * *

I open the door unceremoniously and slam it closed. I turn the lock, and it breaks – clearly, I kinda miscalculated my strength. Oh well, fuck it. I'll have it replaced tomorrow if I don't break the fucking door on my way out.

Fucking enough.

I don't even know what I'm doing here. Ric would say some annoying shit right now. _You're overreacting, Damon. _Or, _you didn't even stay to hear her out, Damon. _Then I'd punch him, he'd punch me back and we'd get gloriously drunk together.

Now I'm back to drinking alone, because the next drinking buddy candidate is underage and I'd feel bad for punching him. _Don't screw it up. _I still hear Ric's voice in my head and God, I need another drink.

"Shut up," I mutter.

I'm talking to a ghost. Again. Awesome.

I feel zero pangs of conscience as I open the liquor cabinet and grab a bottle and two glasses. It's a whole lot easier to pretend like he's there, just doesn't say anything (and wouldn't that be great?), if I can clink the glasses.

"'You got the girl'? The fuck I did," I tell him, downing the contents of my glass. "What's the point in 'getting the girl' – your words, not mine," I remind him, "if I was always gonna lose her? I was a delusional idiot if I ever thought she'd actually go through with what she said and stay with me. No thanks to you, by the way. The most real thing she had ever felt. Yeah right."

I drink the whiskey in his glass, too, because he doesn't get any.

"You wanna know what happened, Ric?" I don't even want to talk about this, but I still do, because I'm a masochist. "I'm fucking tired of this. I walk in on them hugging. 'Damon, you should understand it's overwhelming to have your memories come back, and Stefan's memories are so horrible.' Like it's my fucking fault they're awful. I walk in on Elena asking him not to give up on her. What the fuck was that? 'Damon, that's not what I meant. He was telling me he had no reason to be good, that maybe it was easier to flip the switch, and you know how he is when he flips the switch. I had to talk him out of it.' And then he tells me Elena almost kissed him? And when I hit him, because fuck yes I did, she goes to check on him and tells me off? She was trying to bring back his memories? Next time he loses his memories, maybe she'll just fuck him so he remembers how good they had it?"

There goes the third drink. Or the fourth. I forgot to count "'Damon, you should understand'? Fuck no. I shouldn't. I don't have to. If he's her destiny, or epic love, or soulmate, or some other shit, she should just go for it. Just let me off the fucking leash first, because I'm not her lap dog."

I can almost imagine Ric sighing heavily and shaking his head. I have no idea what advice he would give, though, and I'm not sure it'd be smart to take any advice from a guy with such a miserable relationship history.

I need to get out of here. I ditched my phone on the way, not sure where, because I knew she was gonna call, and I can't even hear her voice right now. But she fucking 'cares,' so she'll try to find me. Which means I should leave. This is the first place she's gonna check after the Grill. Well, and after making sure my immortal brother didn't die from a punch.

Speaking of, maybe I still have some time. Maybe she'll kiss him to make it better. Or something.

"Damon."

Well, that wasn't Ric.

I raise my head from where it was propped on my hand and take her in. Her eyes are apologetic, hands at her hips, and she's not smiling. Which means two things: a) I'm drunk enough, since I didn't even hear her enter, and b) she doesn't know what strategy to use, but she still believes she can beg me or talk to me or yell at me, and everything's gonna magically be all right.

I smile my best predatory smile, and she flinches. Maybe she's starting to understand.

She's just made a big mistake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you very much for the feedback. Of course, I am going to continue the story. This is beta'd by CreepingMuse again, because she's that awesome. **

* * *

"Get out."

She gasps and keeps her mouth open, like she's trying to say something but can't.

"What?" she finally manages to say.

"I think you heard me the first time, Elena. Get. The fuck. Out."  
She takes a deep breath, which means she's gonna try to pretend I didn't hurt her. Futile. I know I did.

"Damon, listen... That's not what it was like."

"Is that what you told him?" I ask in my best bored voice.

She's momentarily distracted, trying to figure out what I mean.

"What?"

"At the decade dance. Right after you rubbed yourself all over me like a cat in heat and nearly let me fuck you against a pillar in a motel hallway, is that what you told him? 'That's not what it sounds like'?"

She gasps.

"Damon, you don't mean-"

"I refuse to be part of your ménage à trois. Been there, done that, got the fucking T-shirt. Enough. I'm done."

"There's no-"

"You're wasting your time, Elena," I say. "Go home. I'm sure your soul mate is still there."

"What so- Listen to me for God's sake!" she yells. "Stefan was being an ass. He was trying to get to you. Clearly, it worked. But you're not even giving me a chance!"

"Don't you think I've given you enough chances?" I get up and move closer to her, my body tense, eyes narrowed. I know everything about me screams danger, and her instincts tell her the same. She shivers, but stubbornly refuses to flee or even to back away. Her self-control is actually pretty impressive. "What can I say? Trusting you worked out well. There are only so many times I can let you screw with my head, Elena. So, do both of us a favor and let me get out of it now, before you it-will-always-be-Stefan me again."

"No, Damon, you're not listening," she interrupts and tries to grab my shoulders, but I'm faster, so I grab her hands before she touches me and make her lower them – firmly, but not enough to hurt her. Her hands will be fine, at least. "It's not always going to be Stefan. It's not going to be Stefan, ever. God, it's not about him at all! I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with _you._"

She's pleading with me in her best voice, the one she knows affects me most, eyes tearful, lips trembling. Fuck if this girl isn't the most dangerous creature that I've met in my entire too-long life. I can't be with her if after all this time and everything we've been through, she still can't decide.

I give her a chance. One chance to tell the truth.

"Did you 'lose yourself in the moment,'" I indicate little brother's words with air quotes, "and almost kiss Stefan?"

She's closing her eyes, one hand raised defensively, and I know the answer before she even says anything.

"That's not how it happened. I wasn't-"

I take a step back and inhale deeply, hands balled up into fists, nails biting into my palms. She looks at me, and I don't think I've ever seen her this terrified.

"That's the problem, Elena. You can't even deny it."

I think I see her a tear escape and roll down her cheek before I blur out of the room, followed by her voice begging me to come back.


	3. Chapter 3

**CreepingMuse edited it, like always, because she's awesome and helpful. **

* * *

He's gone.

Once I realize Damon stormed out and left, and I don't even know if he's going to come back, I call out for him, and run outside. I only catch the view of the Camaro's headlights, disappearing into the night.

It crosses my mind that he shouldn't drive when he's drunk, and I laugh at the odd thought, shivering. My throat is tight, and I don't remember when the tears started to fall, but they aren't stopping.

At least I don't have to breathe.

It's one thing to try to comfort Damon when he's mad, hurt, or both. To hold him, touch him, remind him that I love him, so that he knows that at the end of the day, if everything falls apart, he'll still have me. That I'm never, ever leaving him.

Now, however, everything's different. Who's going to be there for him when I'm the one who hurt him?

Why do I always, always end up hurting Damon?

I go back to Ric's apartment to clean up the bottles because Damon loves orderliness, and if I hadn't appeared, he would've cleaned up no matter how drunk he was.

The mundane work helps me focus and calm down a little. It's gonna be okay. Damon's mad now, but he'll come around; he always does. I just need to give him a little time to cool off, and he'll come back.

I ran to the apartment from the Grill once I made sure Damon wasn't there. Now, I walk to the house deliberately slowly, concentrating on my steps. Maybe if I take my time, he'll be there before I am.

I pause before the front door. As long as it's closed, I can still harbor hope that when I open it, he'll be there, maybe still wary, surely still hurt, but home.

The door opens, but it's not Damon behind it.

"Elena. Good you're here," says Stefan, stepping aside so I can come in. "I was worried."

I shake my head incredulously, because there's no way he doesn't realize what damage he's done.

"You were worried?"

"Of course I was. You ran off so suddenly, and you left your phone here. I was afraid something might happen to you."

"Something _might_ happen to me?" I repeat, because he sounds so protective that I'm barely containing my anger. He doesn't get to talk to me like this. Not after what he's done.

I run to the cabinet to check my phone. A missed call from Stefan. Nothing else. I throw it on the couch and turn around to face the man I once believed would give me happiness – and he took it away instead.

"Something already happened to me! Damon is God knows where, and I don't know how to find him, and it's your damn fault!"

I think I've started crying again, but I don't care, because if I don't say it to him now, I won't ever find the strength to say it.

"When your memories were gone, I tried to help you, and you used it against me. Against Damon. You knew it would hurt him most, and you didn't even think before throwing it at him like a dirty secret I've been keeping. Well, thank you. Everything's so much better now that he thinks I've been lying to him."

I _have _been lying to him, I remind myself. At least, I never told him about it – and he deserved to know. If I hadn't gone so far. If I had told him myself. If he hadn't found out the way he did…

Stefan, however, doesn't seem fazed.

"Don't cry over him. He just got mad about something stupid and stormed off. Typical Damon. He'll get over it," he says, shrugging. "Let's go to the kitchen, I'll make you coffee."

"'Don't cry over him'?! That's all you can say? Stefan, you made me look like a cheater, you chased my boyfriend out of the house; he won't listen to me, won't look at me, and I don't know if he's even going to come home, so you don't get to stand here and tell me he'll get over it, and offer me damn coffee, because I hate coffee, and _Damon_ knows it!"

"Elena, I-" he starts, but I interrupt, because I don't want to hear anything. There's nothing he can say to make it better, and apologies are the last thing I need from him.

"Just stop it, Stefan. Stop treating your brother like an inconvenience. I won't stop loving him. Not for you, not for anyone."

"I'm sorry," he says. Of course.

I turn around without saying a word, because I don't know if he really is, and head upstairs. I take a shower and lie down on the bed, hugging Damon's pillow like I always did on the rare summer nights when he wasn't here.

_Just come home. Please._


	4. Chapter 4

I have to get away from Elena. As soon as possible.

It's better this way for me and it's sure better for her. It won't do either of us good if I stay while I'm still pissed. So I don't even know where I'm driving, but every second takes me farther from her, from Ric's apartment, from the goddamn town.

The fucking _nerve._

I hate that she had the guts to chase me, to find me, to show up and try to fuck with my head all over again. I hate that she was so fucking sure that all she needed was to use her get-through-to-Damon voice and look at me with those eyes and I would listen to her like the good dog that I am. That I would rush into her arms and hold her and say that everything was fine, that I forgave her and we were okay.

I hate it even more that part of me (a pretty damn big part) considered giving in. Begged me to give in. Because no matter what, being with her would somehow always be better than not being with her.

Except we're anything but okay, and I'm not gonna lie to her.

The damn problem is that she miserably fails at letting go of people. And it's not like I ever gave her any ultimatums, right? I wouldn't even dream of saying something like "Elena, you can't talk to Stefan so much any more," because I'm not a possessive jealous fuck (or at least I try really hard not to be). I know she _cares_ about him, and I've always thought I could trust her.

Well, guess I shouldn't have been so sure.

I wish I could hate her. I wish I could go to the nearest bar, find a random willing girl to fuck and drink from and forget about Elena Gilbert for at least one goddamn night.

Truth is, I can't. No matter how mad I am, I still remember her face when she said she wasn't sorry she was in love with me. When she scrunched up her nose and said that Tessa was crazy if she thought the universe would tear us apart.

Maybe she shouldn't have been so sure, either.

_Or maybe you shouldn't have left town like a fucking coward even though you promised you wouldn't take any shit from the universe,_ says a traitorous voice in my head. Oh no. I know this part of me too well. The part that's ready to take all the blame. If I let it win, the whole furious attitude will tumble like a house of cards.

_Maybe she shouldn't have lied to me_, I argue, and my anger flares up all over again. Fuck it, the whole fight isn't my fault in the first place. For once, maybe I haven't done anything wrong.

So why the hell am _I_ leaving?

I hit the brakes and turn the car around – back to MysticFalls. Back to my house. If Elena wants, she can stay in Stefan's room for the night. Fuck if I care.

I just want to take a damn shower.

* * *

I wake up restless and tired, and can't seem to open my eyes. My face is buried in the pillow, hands tucked beneath it. I feel like I haven't slept at all.

In a familiar, instinctive move my hand slides to the right, and I sit up at the foot of the bed, gasping.

Damon's home.

I hoped, I prayed, though I never actually believed it. But there he is, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling.

I'm hit by a wave of love and happiness and relief, and I don't even stop to think before I attack him, winding my arms around his neck and pressing my cheek to his. My knees are on both sides of his thighs as I try to cover as much of him as possible with my body, hold on as tightly as I can, so he knows I'm not letting go of him. No way.

It takes me a few moments to realize that his arms are still resting limply by his sides, and he's rigid and unresponsive under me. A chill runs along my spine, but I try to ignore it. "Damon?" I say as I sit up, propping my hands on his chest.

He's still scrutinizing the ceiling.

"Damon!" I beg, caressing his cheek. "Please, look at me."

He does, and I smile at him happily.

"I'm so glad you're here," I say, lying down next to him and putting my head on his shoulder. "I was so worried you wouldn't come back."

"Why not, Elena?" he asks, and for a crazy moment I'm wondering if it's even possible for a vampire to drink to the point of brain damage. "It's my room. And my bed."

He stands up and goes to the bathroom while I take a deep breath so I don't start to cry again.

It's the first time since the night I moved in he calls our room _his_.

* * *

**I'm thankful to CreepingMuse for beta'ing it and writing those cute little comments, I'm thankful to Lala for giving me the idea and inspiring this chapter, too, to Vicki for liking it so much and to all of you guys for staying with me. Happy Thanksgiving! **


	5. Chapter 5

**CreepingMuse is awesome like always so she beta'd it. Go read her fic. Including Sleepy Hollow fic.**

* * *

It's been four days, and I'm losing my mind.

It feels like Damon isn't here at all. He doesn't kiss me, doesn't touch me. His voice is empty and emotionless when he talks to me, mostly giving me one syllable answers, and he hardly looks me in the eye. When I tried to kiss him, he instantly went still and pulled back, looking at me with such a pained expression that I couldn't breathe until he was out of the room.

He still sleeps in our bed, but he got a separate comforter – probably to make sure I don't touch him accidentally. I've still tried, of course. Every time he woke up at night with my forehead resting against the back of his neck, he gently rolled me over to my half of the bed and went back to sleep.

I still tell him "I love you" every night when he's asleep.

I don't know what to do to make him change his mind if he's acting like this. It's worse than I thought it would be. He's not just mad and not just hurt. I've broken his trust – the trust he put in me even when I didn't deserve it, the trust I've always tried to be worthy of.

I have no idea what it'll take to get it back.

I'm not talking to Stefan. Not because that's what Damon wants (though deep down, he probably does), but because it's awkward. He knows I'm mad at him, and he knows that things aren't okay with Damon and me, and it feels wrong to talk to him while my boyfriend is avoiding me. I wonder if Stefan's at least a little worried about Damon. I wonder if he knows how much Damon loves him even when he pretends he doesn't.

I catch myself thinking back to the times I was with Damon but talked about Stefan, Stefan, Stefan, and how Damon offered nothing but support and love. Nobody takes care of me like he does, and I can't even begin to understand how much strength it took to be there for me and Stefan even when it hurt.

God, I miss him so much.

And I'm supposed to go back to college tomorrow.

He'll make me leave even if I don't want to. If he doesn't, Caroline surely will.

Tonight is my last chance to get through to him. Whatever it takes.

* * *

I lie down and prop my head on one hand, trying to control my erratic heartbeat. I'm so nervous it's ridiculous. This is Damon. The man who calls me his life and means it.

I'm not nervous because I'm naked. Damon knows my body better than I do, anyway; and after our summer together, the feel of his skin against mine and the instinctive tingles that run through me when he looks at me are the most natural sensations in the world.

I feel vulnerable in a different way. This move screams desperate, and Damon will know it right away. If he thinks I'm trying to manipulate him – and he hates it – in the end, things will be worse than now.

On the other hand, I don't have much to lose.

I hear the water stop, and seconds later, Damon walks into the room. He's breathtaking, hair disheveled, random droplets of water still rolling down his chest and disappearing into the towel. I want to follow that path with my hands, lips, tongue. It's been less than a week since I did just that, but I barely manage to stay put as he approaches the bed, pointedly looking at my empty suitcase next to it instead of me.

"You should pack," he says in a tone so even that I don't know if he's actually noticed my state of undress. He switches off the lamp and sits down on the bed, dropping the towel; he always sleeps naked and he won't change his habits just because he's mad at me.

I was counting on it.

Before he can lie down, I rush to him, wrapping my arms and legs around him. My hands are clasped on his chest, ankles crossed just below his waist – I have him trapped in my embrace. I hold on so tightly that he can't break free without hurting me – and he would never do that. I inhale deeply and hear him suck in a breath as my nipples harden against his back.

"Elena," he says in warning. I don't care.

I bend my head to touch his shoulder with my lips and just stay there for a while, inhaling his scent. It's the most comforting thing I know, and Damon doesn't say anything, letting me have this moment.

I start trailing kisses up his shoulder to his neck as his blood starts to flow faster. I want to bite him, but I wouldn't do it without his permission, so I settle for his skin instead, tasting it just over a vein in his neck.

"Don't," he asks. Damon's whole body is tense as he's trying to resist me, but I know better. I know his body recognizes me, responds to me, and no matter how many protective walls he's put up, there's no defense against this.

I graze the same spot with my fangs, tightening my legs around him a little, and he shivers, his head falling back slightly. I grin against his neck. I'm winning.

* * *

She weakens her hold on me just for a moment, but it's enough. In a blur, I flip her over onto the bed, my knee between her thighs, one hand holding her both wrists above her head. The other hand is pinning her free leg to the mattress. She struggles unconvincingly, which is probably just an excuse to arch her back with a gasp that almost undoes me.

God help me, I would fuck her senseless if I didn't know that's exactly what she wants.

I hover over her lips, too far for her to kiss me bur close enough that my breath will caress her and drive her insane.

"What are you trying to prove, Elena?" I brush my lips against hers slightly and pull back before she has a chance to deepen the kiss. "That I still want you?" I remove my hand from her thigh, pinning her to the bed with the weight of my body instead. She lets out a moan, and I'm trying with all I have to contain mine as she cradles me with her thighs, her long legs wrapping around me. She feels wonderful, silky skin and unyielding strength underneath, but I can't concentrate on the sensation.

If I do, I'll give in.

"Do you?" she asks, squirming against me in the most awful, wonderful way.

"Yes, I do," I admit easily, tracing her collarbone with my lips as I stroke the fingers of my free hand along her thigh. Her legs quiver, and that's exactly what I need.

In a flash, I unwind her legs from where they feel so good around my thighs and rush to my feet. She looks at me, her breaths still shallow, eyes terrified.

"It doesn't change anything," I say quietly.

I pull on my jeans as fast as I can. I need to get out of here _right now_, because the look she's giving me makes it really hard to remember why I'm saying no.

"I love you," she says, like it's the most natural thing to say, and my throat suddenly feels tight.

"You should pack," I remind her before leaving the room. It's all I can do not to say it back.

* * *

**Well, this chapter was a little longer like you guys wanted. I swear I'm not trying to make them short on purpose; I just finish them when it feels right. (Plus, longer chapters would mean less frequent updates, to be honest.) Anyway, like always, thanks for reading and reviewing. :3 Much love to you all.**


	6. Chapter 6

Caroline raises her eyebrows when she sees me carry my suitcase out of the boarding house. The question in her eyes is obvious even before she says it out loud.

"Where's your _dark knight_?"

I have to take a deep breath before I put the suitcase into the trunk and turn to face her.

"_Damon._" It's not that I don't like "dark knight," I just don't like the way Caroline says it, the contempt in her voice. Damon doesn't deserve contempt, not even from her. "He'll be here soon."

Truth is, I have no idea where he is.

After I completely failed to get any other reaction than a hard-on out of Damon, I didn't dare follow him when he went to sleep in another bedroom. I shifted to lie on his pillow and took some comfort in the fact that he didn't leave the house but stayed in the room next to ours – so close I could listen to his heartbeat as I fell asleep.

He wasn't there when I woke up, and though there's no way to know, I like to think he didn't leave until morning. His car is still in the driveway, and he wouldn't leave without it if he was going very far.

And I'm not leaving until he comes back. Until I can look him in the eye, and talk to him at least for a minute and _God_, I may die if I don't kiss him.

How the hell did he live like this his whole life? How did he survive a century and a half loving Katherine and thinking that she was in the tomb, waiting for him to save her? And then, somehow, he fell in love with me. So he could have me around every day, always too close and yet just out of reach.

"And here I was afraid you girls would leave without me."

Damon's here.

His voice sounded teasing, but when I turn to him, his eyes are wary despite the smirk. He's acting, I realize, pretending like everything's okay in case Caroline doesn't know about our fight. I smile happily and run to him. I don't care it's an act, the only thing that matters is that his arms are around my waist, holding me close instead of pushing away, and my arms are around his neck, and I can finally, finally pull his lips to mine.

Damon doesn't really respond, but apparently, my enthusiasm makes up for it, because Caroline clears her throat loudly and comments: "Can you guys, um, say goodbye in the house? I don't wanna get wrinkles from cringing so much."

I let out a dramatic sigh and Damon laughs lightheartedly.

"Oh no, we wouldn't want that. C'mon," he tells me, taking my hand so I'll follow him into the house. For a moment, everything feels so normal that I have to remind myself that none of this tenderness is real.

Once we close the front door behind us, Damon tries to let go of me, but I hold his hand with both of mine now, not letting him pull away.

"Elena," he breathes, but I shake my head.

"Wait," I whisper, because Caroline is out there, and she could be listening. "Damon, I know you're still mad at me-"

"No," he interrupts, and I smile slightly, tilting my head.

"No?"

He looks me in the eye, one hand reaching out to stroke my hair, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"I'm not mad. I'm-" He stops, as if looking for the right word. He doesn't have to, because I know what it is.

Hurt.

But he'll never actually say it. Not even to me.

"I know," I tell him, bringing our hands to my lips to kiss his knuckles. "I know, and I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"Stop," he interrupts me again. "It's just… You need time. I need time, too. I don't want to ever have to doubt you or not to trust you. Okay?"

"So we're on a break?" I ask as he wipes away tears I didn't realize I was crying.

"No way." He sighs and pulls me into a hug. "We're just giving each other space for a while. That's the point, okay? I'm not trying to punish you or make you feel bad. Well, that, too, at first," he admits, and I chuckle, because I can feel we're gonna be okay. Not today, probably not soon, but eventually.

"I love you," I tell him, and this time, he pulls back to look me in the eye and says:

"I love you, too."

We leave the house together, and now I at least feel much better about going to college.

"Okay, are you lovebirds done? We need to go. I think it will be good for Elena," says Caroline, throwing a hostile look at Damon.

"Care."

She rolls her eyes and gets into the car. After I give Damon a final brief kiss, I do the same, and we set off.

* * *

"Trouble in paradise?" Caroline asks, and I look at her, feigning confusion.

"What? What trouble?"

"Come on, Elena. I saw your face in the morning. You had no idea where your 'boyfriend,'" – she does everything she can to make it sound offensive – "was. You looked like it was Christmas when he showed up. What's going on?"

I don't want to tell her, but she'll keep asking until I spill anyway.

"We had a fight. I hurt his feelings, a lot, and yes, I was a little worried he wouldn't come back so soon."

"And what a big loss that would be."

"Caroline! Stop it. It was my fault, Damon didn't-"

"Ugh, Elena, do you even hear yourself? Damon left you alone after a fight, because he's a jerk, and you're defending him and taking the blame. That's just… so unhealthy."

"It _was_ my fault," I insist, and she actually stomps her foot.

"Elena, the guy you're dating is, like, a serial killer. What could you possibly do to hurt his feelings?"

"So what are you saying, that he doesn't have feelings because of his past?"

"No, I'm saying that he should remember about his past and be happy to have you instead of being a jerk. But you act like he's a victim in this. It's like you don't know anything about him."

"No, Caroline, _you_ don't know anything about him," I snap. "You have no idea what a wonderful person he is, how much he cares about people in his life, and don't even try to tell me it's not true. He almost died saving your life, so you don't have to love him, you don't have to respect him, but you sure as hell need to stop talking about him like this. Or just stop the car. I don't want to talk to you right now."

Caroline blinks a few times and looks at me just for a moment.

"Sorry."

I'm not sure she is, but I don't want to fight. I relax in the seat and look out of the window.

"Okay."

* * *

**CreepingMuse is my hero for editing it so fast. Also, I'll get back to you guys who reviewed asap. Life's been crazy. Thanks for reading and drop me a line if you will. :3**

**P.S. In my AU, Elena doesn't kill Jesse, but I still wanted a confrontation between the girls. As for my POV in it all, not gonna rant here, but feel free to PM me if you are interested. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

Well, guess it's safe to say that any hope of that "normal human experience" I hoped to get in college was in vain.

I don't know how to understand any of it. Why Wes turned Jesse into a vampire, why he needs vampires for whatever he's doing in his lab, and what those experiments Jesse described are about. I remember how Caroline's father tried to "fix" her and torture her into denying her nature so she couldn't hurt people any more. If that's what Wes was trying to do, too, he didn't accomplish it, if the hunger with which Jesse gnawed on Aaron's neck is any indication.

I shake my head. It sounds so strange that I can hardly believe it. Well, the last two years of my life have kind of made me more open-minded. I wonder what Damon would say about the situation. He'd definitely have twenty jokes about this whole vampire science thing at any given moment.

I need to call Damon. Whatever is going on here, it's dangerous, and since Wes is hurting people, we must stop him. I can't do it without Damon.

He picks up after the first ring.

"Elena…"

"Hey," I say and quickly start explaining so he won't hang up. "Look, I remember about the whole space thing, but it's not about that. We have a problem."

"What happened?"

I quickly tell him about Jesse. For some reason, he doesn't find the whole creepy vampire lab thing amusing and doesn't even make a joke about _Buffy_, and I know he watched the show. Twice.

He sighs instead, and I can hear him grab his car keys.

"I'm on my way. You girls take care of the baby vampire, and I'll get some answers out of your creepy professor."

"Just don't kill him."

"I'll try," he chuckles. "Talk to you later, then."

"Sure," I say and hang up.

I bring Jesse a blood bag and decide to let Caroline take care of him. I can be useful in other ways.

"I'll go to the lab," I tell my friend, and she immediately starts to say no, but I don't listen. "Jesse says Wes is locked up inside, but he may try to get away and that would be a bad idea. I won't go inside, I'll just stay at the door and wait for Damon to show up."

"Wait, Damon?" Apparently, she was so distracted with helping Jesse that she didn't hear me talking on the phone. Which is good, come to think of it. "You sent your homicidal boyfriend to- Okay, sorry," she says, rolling her eyes at my expression.

I leave without saying another word.

* * *

An hour later, Damon's here. I reach out to hold him before I realize that would probably cross the line, so I take his hands in mine instead, squeezing them gently.

"Maybe I should go in there with you?"

"Don't you dare," he says, his eyes gleaming dangerously, and I flinch a little. Damon can be paranoid about my safety now and then, and after I've turned, it's gotten easier to make him cave and let me join the mission, but everything about his eyes and his voice tells me that this time, he means it.

"Is there something you're not telling me? Do you know something about it that I don't?"

"I haven't gone all Dean Winchester and started investigating supernatural occurrences in Whitmore, if that's what you're asking," he deflects. I tilt my head so he knows I'm not buying it. "I just don't want you to get hurt, okay?"

"Be careful," I ask him, but he only offers a tight smile which doesn't reassure me at all.

Then Caroline calls to tell me Jesse went missing.

* * *

We look for him everywhere on campus. Every crowded place where he could pick out a victim. Every quiet corner where he could bring them. Caroline already taught him about compulsion, so he could compel anyone, but we still listen to any screams nearby. Every time, it's just some students having fun and being too loud.

What's worse, we have no idea why he bit Caroline right before he ran. Not that biting another vampire feels bad – it's actually really, really good – but he shouldn't have thought of it on his own. Vampire instincts tell us to bite humans.

"Maybe he went back to the lab," I suggest, and Caroline frowns.

"Why would he do that? If he wanted to get back at Wes, he would've done it earlier. Why now?"

"I don't know," I shrug and pull my phone out of my pocket. "I'll call Damon. He should know."

He doesn't answer.

I call again: I know he's busy, but it's important. This time, he doesn't pick up, either.

The third call goes straight to voicemail.

A chill runs down my spine and settles there.

"Caroline, we must check the lab. Something's wrong."

I run without even looking whether she's following me or not. She is, though, and she actually makes it to the lab first.

"No!"

I come in to find Jesse lying on the floor, unseeing eyes wide open, a gaping wound in his chest. She falls on her knees, stroking her hand over his eyelids to close them.

"I'm sorry, Care," I whisper, but I can't think about Jesse now.

Damon isn't here.

Alone, he went to face something that he thought too dangerous for me to even come near. He actually seemed to know more about it than I did. I should have made him tell me everything when I had a chance. I should have gone with him. I should have stayed away from it all instead of putting Damon at risk.

I pull out the phone and dial his number again and again, but every time, it goes to voicemail. Damon wouldn't just switch off his phone and run off, leaving a body behind for anyone to walk in and find. He knew I was worried, and he would've called me if he had changed the plan.

I feel a panic attack starting, but I can't afford it. I take a deep breath, and it burns my lungs, making me double over in a coughing fit. I recognize the traces of sharp smell lingering in the air. Vervain.

I wipe away my tears, focusing on the only thing that matters. If Damon isn't here next to Jesse, he must be still alive. So I'm getting him out. Whatever it takes.

* * *

**CreepingMuse is a sweetheart and you should read every fic she's ever written. **

**Believe me or not, Damon was going to get kidnapped in my story way before it happened on TVD, but I'm glad it happened on the show so now I can write something in correlation with canon. :) Consider any changes I've made my literary license. Thanks for staying with me, guys - look forward to hearing from you, like always. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Yes, yes, I know. I'm sorry. 5x09 and 5x10 were really hard to process, and then there were tests and exams etc., and my muse took a vacation. I'm still going to write this fic, and we're still not done here. ;) For now, please have chapter 8 and thanks for staying. :3 **

**Beta'd by CreepingMuse, because she's a good friend.**

* * *

Caroline is still sobbing helplessly while I'm trying to focus and come up with some kind of plan. But I can't think of anything I can do alone. I need backup. Somebody older and stronger. I'm not sure Care is of any use now, so that leaves only one vampire.

I'm not sure about it. After I ignored Stefan for days, I'm probably not his favorite person. But I have to try to ask him. Damon is his brother, and I know that no matter what, Stefan loves him.

His reaction is not quite what I expected, though.

"Wait, wait," he interrupts. "You actually think that Damon was hurt or… kidnapped by a human?" He scoffs. "Elena, give him more credit than that."

"Did you not hear me?" I ask incredulously, trying to keep calm. "Wes experiments on vampires. I smelled vervain. Damon's in danger, and it seems like you don't even care."

"Fine," he relents. "Give me two hours, I'll be there. Be careful."

I hang up and walk out of the lab, leaving Caroline to deal with Jesse.

I cannot wait for two hours. I need to do something right now. I hate that I don't know where he is, whether he's all right, whether he's even-

Wait. Maybe there _is _a way to make sure he's alive. I should call Bonnie. She's the anchor. I'm still not sure what it means, but she links the other side with our world, or something. Couldn't Amara see ghosts when she was the anchor? Bonnie should be able to help.

She's helped me so many times that I don't know how _not _to count on her any more.

"Hey." She sounds tired. In other circumstances, I would ask her what's wrong and if I can help, but now I can't. She'll forgive me. She knows how much I love Damon – maybe she knows it better than anyone else.

"I think something bad happened to Damon. He went to question Dr. Maxfield, and now he's missing, and I don't even know-"

"Damon's alive," she says confidently, and I'm overwhelmed by relief. I still ask Bonnie if she's sure, of course.

"I'm positive. If a vampire – any vampire – dies, I'll know it. Hey-"

"Elena, we need to get him out," says Jeremy; apparently, he snatched Bonnie's phone.

Not "you." We.

I'm still reluctant to let him go anywhere near Wes, but the vampire in me impartially assesses his Hunter strength, and I know that if I can't have another vampire by my side, Jeremy is my best bet.

"Meet me in my dorm," I tell him. "I need to talk to Aaron."

* * *

Huh. I haven't had this nightmare for a long time.

The concrete floor is hard and cold under my palms, the air stale and humid. The cell looks just the same, from impenetrable steel bars to the carving I made fifty-eight years ago. I'm all alone, and it's suspicious.

When I have nightmares about the lab, Enzo usually shows up.

Sometimes, it's 1953.

_"No, I'm still strong enough!" I yell, and Whitmore turns to me again, a cruel smirk twisting his face._

_"You think you're going to save him, 21051? It's too late. It's always too late."_

_I look at Enzo and he's in flames, yelling in pain, cursing, calling my name. I turn away and allow Whitmore to take me to the lab. It's easier if my screams are so loud that I can't hear Enzo._

Sometimes, we're in 1957.

_"All right, Damon. We're gonna play scissor, paper, stone to decide."_

_I know he'll draw rock, and I'll draw paper, but then I look at my hand, and it's scissors instead._

_"I win," says Enzo, and then I'm at Whitmore's New Year's party, watching Enzo tear guests apart through the bars, knock over a candelabra and start a fire. He doesn't give a damn._

_"Enzo!" I call. He looks at me, and it's not his eyes. They're empty. Dead._

_"I'm not even sorry, Damon."_

_Flames keep getting closer, licking at my skin, but it doesn't hurt as much as the sight of his back as he walks away._

_Every time, I wake up right before the fire kills me_.

My mind is a little foggy, and it's hard to tell apart memories and nightmares, but eventually, I do remember.

Professor Shady 2.0. Atomized vervain, or whatever he called that shit. I think I vaguely remember being strapped to an operating table, but I'm not sure if it happened today or in the '50s.

I try to sit up, and my body reluctantly obeys, bones and muscles almost screaming in protest. Something's wrong. Vervain, no matter how much, shouldn't have this effect on me.

I hear movement in the lab. Wes must be there. Getting ready for the next round of whatever sadistic experiments this creepy club is doing in 2011.

"Professor Maxfield?"

Fuck.

What the hell is Jeremy doing here?

"Can I help you?"

Jeremy needs to get out. Right fucking now. I have no idea if this guy has moral values when it comes to humans, so I don't want the kid anywhere near him.

"I guess. I'm friends with Damon Salvatore, and I've been told he was going to talk to you, so I figured you might know where he is.

Subtle, Jer. Really subtle. Get the fuck out.

"No, sorry. He came by hours ago. I don't know where he is now."

One of them moves, and I hear the familiar hiss of gas filling the room. Then there's struggle, and I pray to all gods willing to listen that Jeremy won't get hurt. If something happens to him because of me, Elena will never forgive me. I'll never forgive me, either.

"For the record," says Jeremy in a calm, collected voice, "not everyone you piss off is a vampire." There's another sound, one I'd recognize anywhere – a body dropped to the floor. I really don't think Jeremy would kill the guy – my money is on a knockout.

"Damon?"

"Here!" I yell. He runs into the room and to the cell.

"Fuck, Damon, what is this place?"

He curses a lot more around me than he does in general – probably part of his "badass image." It's sort of endearing.

"Brotherhood of the Sun headquarters. Your plan could use some work, by the way. Element of surprise is good, but you should've had backup."

"I just saved you, jerk."

"Well, you got lucky." Jeremy rolls his eyes, and I add: "Thanks, Jer." He smiles.

"Damon!"

Elena rushes into the room, coughing as she inhales the vervain-laced air of the lab on her way. She drops to her knees next to the cell, and I wince. Her eyes are puffy, makeup slightly smeared, and my heart twitches at the sight. She's been crying over me. Guess I'll never get used to that.

"Are you okay?"

"Awesome. I was just chillin' out. You guys interrupted my beauty sleep."

Elena laughs, sobbing a little, and I reach out to touch her hand through the bars. "Hey. I'm fine."

"Where's the key?" Okay, things are really bad if Little Gilbert is the one coming up with all good ideas. (I mean, it obviously wasn't Elena who decided to put him at risk in the first place, right?)

"Professor Creepy must have it, I guess." I hear somebody else in the lab – hopefully it's not the guy coming round.

"Here. Found them in his pocket." Bonnie enters the room and comes up to the cell to unlock it. I nod at her and she smiles slightly. She knows it was a "thank you."

The moment I can step out of the cell, Elena's arms are around my neck, her fingers petting my skin, her breath caressing me. I inhale her scent, let it cure me of all the pain and tension of this long, long day. Right now, I don't care about distance, or space, or whatever my last speech was about. I just want her close.

"Let's go home. Please. Let me take care of you," she whispers into my shoulder. There's so much to do. We need to question Wes on our territory. We need to decide how to stop this vampire science thing. But the selfish part of me just wants to give in to her soft, pleading voice, so I do.

"Okay," I nod, holding her tighter. "Let's go home."

* * *

**A/N2: Some of the stuff happening in the fic is (or is going to be canon-compliant). Some isn't. And yeah, just a reminder - we're not done here yet. :) Saving each other is good, but it doesn't automatically make things right. Hope to hear from you guys. **


End file.
